In and Out of Love
by Swordsman-Of-Lorelai
Summary: Starting a rave and pressing into school, Roxas has to make decisions he thought were impossible! A... confusing mess. Roxas's heart learns its lessons fast because it has to. Hayner/Roxas and later AkuRoku!


I couldn't remember if I wanted the sun to set, or if the fear was settling in faster. Sitting on the roof with Sora wasn't helping me relax, and it certainly wasn't helping my nerves. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous. It wasn't like we were going to go and murder our teachers or kick any puppies. We weren't doing anything illegal, nor were we breaking rules; I had even asked my mother to go with that stupid redhead, my brother, and their weird friends! So then… why was my heart racing so hard? I sighed and slowly moved toward the ladder, dismissing myself and climbing down to the safe ground that was stable beneath my sneakers. Axel was going to be there… soon. And if I needed to change, for the thousandth time, I would have to do it then. I still couldn't decide on what I wanted to wear, and my indecisiveness was starting to kill me. Wandering to my room, I flipped the light on, looking into the tall, standing mirror.

Blond, spiky hair? Check. Slightly tanned skin? Check. Outfit…. I stared at myself for a long while, examining my black, skinny jeans, looking at each stitch in the white tank top I was wearing. Each drop of red splatter-paint received it's own glance, and I was suddenly glad that my eyes were so **fucking** blue. Because otherwise… I felt as if I would be tempted to look closer at everything. Sighing, I managed to tear myself away from the mirror, shaking my head slowly. I watched headlights move across the wall, and I cursed under my breath. Checking for my wallet and my phone, I walked outside.

"Roxy! Are you ready?" I could hear Axel's voice, and I was suddenly glad that the male's voice was so smooth, because I felt like I was going to pass out. I needed to stuff myself into that tiny little car of Axel's with at least five other people, not counting myself! It was going to suck… a lot. Sora was just landing on the ground near the ladder when Axel got out of his car to open the passenger door for me. I let my head tip to the side a bit.

"The front seat?" I questioned, a brow rising up in curiosity. Usually a girl sat in the front, someone's girlfriend because she didn't want to sit next to "pigs." Sora was pushing me into the seat, leaning across to buckle me in.

"Let's go, baby brother! I'm sure we'll have a **great** time!" Sora laughed, making sure I was strapped in before leaning back.

"**Baby?** We're the same age, you idiot. And get off- just- stop- get in the car!" I stammered, pushing his brother back. Sora let out a little laugh, wiping fake tears from his eyes, mostly fake because they weren't there, and Sora was being dramatic. I rolled my eyes and waited for Axel to just… shut the door. And once he did, I relaxed into the leather interior of Axel's car, or rather… his mother's car. But who gave a single shit?

The drive there felt long and stupid, mostly because it was full of stupid jokes, ones girls would have made faces at. I swore I only laughed… once, and it was at my brother's response to a dirty joke. And it really hadn't been that funny. Staring out the passenger window had been my main pastime, because I had nothing else to do unless I wanted to talk to Axel or the other guys, and that didn't really sound all that interesting. Well- talking to Axel always was, but not in front of his friends. Not here, like this.

I could see the flashing lights through the windows when we finally got there, and I wondered just how much alcohol lingered within the concrete walls. Probably way too much. It had been a while since I was last at one of these parties, these… raves. I didn't even notice that I was being pushed along, couldn't even remember that I had gotten out of the car in the first place. When had we gotten so close to the front door? Axel was right in front of me, and that was the first time I had noticed him…

His tall, lanky frame was covered with a long sleeve shirt, my favorite black one that hugged my friend's body in all the right places… And those red skinny jeans… damn, they held that ass nice. I didn't notice the way that I was biting his lip until I ran face first into Axel's back, lip hurting from my own teeth. Son of a –

"Roxy? You okay?" Axel yelled over the music, my ears hardly able to hear it. Nodding aggressively, I looked away, wondering how long my lips would hurt. That sucked! Fuck. There were little taps on my shoulder, and I looked over quickly, seeing blue eyes, just like my own. Sora… What a guy!

Honestly, Sora was the best brother that anyone could ask for, simply because he was always around, even when I didn't want him to be. At least that much was true. Even though I was sure that our parents loved us, I was never truly convinced that they really cared what we did- ever whether it was illegal, legal, nice, mean, rude, or even dangerous. Though Sora and I didn't drink, we hung out with a lot of people that did. We were often at parties, assigned the job of designated driver. Though we both had our licenses, we weren't supposed to have people in our cars just yet. I found myself staring at Sora, watching as he spoke but not really listening. And as if on cue, he cocked a brow and waved his hand in front of my face. What the hell? I took a small step back, focusing on his words that I could barely hear.

"Hello? Roxas! Come on, what are you doing?" he yelled over the music, raising his brows at me. A gasp rattled through me, and I found myself staring at him for another moment before shutting my eyes and shaking my head. What the fuck? I smacked myself lightly before stepping with him. His hand was on my arm until we got inside, where we broke apart and partied separately. That's how it was. We never liked to be around each other, just in case the other did something embarrassing. I liked to dance hard, and there was no other way to explain that.

Once we were apart, I started my moves. Usually, I just swung my hips and moved my hands a bit, just like tonight. I wasn't getting that crazy, because I had no one to dance with and there was no point. No one was dancing with me anyway. All the guys and girls from the car had scattered throughout the large, dirty, shit-hole room. I couldn't see Axel anymore, couldn't see anyone anymore. There was no point in looking, mostly because I really didn't want to look. Dancing alone was the best, because there were no distractions. I could feel the beat vibrating my sneakers, and the bass made my clothes dance against my skin.

With the beat pressing against my sneakers, my feet were tapping against the floor, my hips swinging. What I didn't expect was for someone to come up behind me and press against my body, stopping my more erratic motions and forming them into only my swinging hips. My face felt hot, but I didn't dare look over my shoulder or stop dancing. Hands were pressed against my hips, holding them gently, carefully. Most people didn't really… care for tender touches on the dance floor. I didn't really care about the fingers that pulled against my waist and hipbones; I just wanted to **dance**. What else was there at a party? It felt as though those hands were pulling me back, and I just let it happen, my body pressing into the one behind me.

That body was pressed against my own for quite a while, and I finally grew the balls to take a look, taking a deep breath before peering over my shoulder. In my mind, I had tried to make myself think that maybe it was just Sora messing with me or Axel deciding he wanted to hit this, but I saw another boy about my age with curly, brown hair a top his head. I found myself standing still, and his eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, shot to mine, cocking a brow.

My jaw hung slack. (He was hot!) Didn't I know this guy…? I felt my face contort in confusion and annoyance and his hands slip away, making me look at my waist. I hadn't wanted him to stop! Over the sound of the music, he screamed.

"Are you okay?!"

I was trying to find words when I saw his hands slip into his pockets, his shoulders shifting forward awkwardly. I swallowed and yelled back as loud as I could-

"I'm fine!" I offered a smile a moment later, my breath short and my cheeks hot because of how much effort I hot forced into those two syllables. A small, crooked smile crossed his lips, his hand reaching out to touch my side again. With his hands out of his pockets, I felt much better. It was strange to dance with someone in front of me, but I went with it, knowing that no one would see us, and even if they did… they wouldn't say anything.

With his arms looped about my waist, my arms up around his neck, we swayed and rubbed against one another, our bodies moving together with the beat and bass. It felt like a dream, a dream that I wished would never end. It felt like minutes later, but I could tell it was much longer because my legs felt like jelly. We both took a step away from each other, wiping the sweat from our faces as we tried to laugh off the disgust. In that minute though, as I was leaning in to talk to him a bit, because I didn't know his name or who he really was, Sora was at my arm again, pulling on it a bit to get my attention. Looking to him, I gave him the go-away-face, the I'm-busy-right-now face. He just returned it back to me and I shrunk. Though we were the same age, he was just a bit more intimidating, mostly because he actually took working out seriously… or more seriously than me anyway.

I waved goodbye to my dance King, a smile glued to my face as my brother pulled me back toward the exit/entrance. He waved back to me as we reached the door that lead back outside. People were stumbling and vomiting outside due to intoxication, but it all meant nothing to me, my head dizzy with longing and wonder. Packed back into the car, I was stuck in the backseat, because Sora had called dibs on the front, but I really didn't care about who's sweaty ass was next to mine, because… that had been the best night of my life.

Once home and naked in the shower, I had gotten a little overwhelmed by own thoughts and had to jerk one out, my body feeling even more weak than before. Shit. It was so good. I couldn't get that boy's face out of my head, and even though I had gone to sleep to try and force it all out, it didn't really work. I was lost in my dreams even, picturing his body against mine, imagining his eyes staring into mine. I needed to get a handle on this- fast.


End file.
